• Walking: 24.4 km (Total 282.3 km)
• Weather: Cold and foggy in the morning. Nice afternoon.

The walking is going good!

If you think of your personality and the ego as an Island, and all the other people with their personality and ego as islands as well, then we are a whole bunch of islands looking after our own Islands. Wanting the best for our Island, wanting to know the other right Islands, always asking: what’s in it for my island. Building it bigger, more fortune, more of this, more of that and protecting us from Islands we don’t like and so on. That’s how it becomes war in this world, less love, more watching for the best. How stupid is this?

Might be better if we think of ourselves as universal and leave the personalities digging for more behind.

For example: me and my family is my husband and our 3 grown up kids. I also have 2 stepsons, that never have been invited to my childhood town. Well, I could choose to be offended over this, because that’s what personality does. Gets hurt. But instead I choose to think that there is not enough awakening and understanding, for that they belong to us. Its easier that way, then I don’t have to make a fool of anyone, and then I don’t have to feel anger. Of course, I could talk with the other islands about it, but that would be blaming and that takes time and energy. I rather leave the case, because I know its the ego: wanting something out from a ego perspective. It never works, it will never be OK. Wanting to have my stepsons invitied to my hometown is nothing more that my Island seeing for love and acceptance and wanting to be seen. Its just the Islands rule to keep feeling not tolerance and accepted. Nothing more that that. Its got nothing to do with universal love. 

The islands are build up from when we where kids. Rules, expectations, grasping, neediness, feeling hurt because of getting little for free. Believing your own story as the only truth, but its all seen from the ego.

Isn’t it strange?

It is so cool to understand this, because then we can stop believing in this Island bullshit. That doesn’t mean you have to accept other islands’ bad behavior, but you can watch it and sit still in your boat. Don’t rock it, unless they are really bad to you. If you leave another Islands behavior, it’s good and wise, it’s wisdom, it’s not bad, like you been told. But you can be nice to them, if they ask you why, then you can answer:

Because you are operating from the island perspective. They will probably look at you like mad (welcome to my life) but that is OK, as long as you have your own value and integrity.

Insight: You don’t need bullshit!

• Walking: 25.5 km (Total 257.8 km)
• Weather: nice

• Walking: 21.3 km (Total 232,3 km)
• Weather: rain (and nice at the end of the day)

It is expected and accepted in the society to have a project or a job that gives excitement, importance and meaning «you are somebody». Walking around saying you have a bigger mission is just weird for people. But do I care? Not a second. 

And today a bartender put my pocket full of biscuits and said: «You are truly living your life». 

Well, it feels like. I love the walk, it really gives a meaning. 

We are trained to think «what has a meaning?». And all this meanings and Ideas and rules are blocking people for doing things like this. Also fear. People look to much on television and they are served fear. So fear is their God. 

I will later write about this God stuff, but I will save it for a rainy day. Well today it rained a lot the first 15 kilometers, and then the sun shined like it never had before. It doesn’t matter, I have clothes for all kinds of weather. And it’s not cold. 

It is good to walk, It’s like becoming the walk, every step is making me more glad. But I have to be careful that it is not another activity that has tons of expectations, that need likes. The walk gives me more insight of who I am without outer support. 

I have to heal all that hurts me, if not, I will bleed on those who never hurt me. And when I do, I come to a new understanding and the energy is free, then I walk faster. The body is really impressing me. No knee pain at all. 

I sleep long nights and starts early. That is works out really good. There is of course a fear in being alone walking. Like today two big oxen 2 meters away from me, there was a fence between us, but my heart was pumping when they looked like they wanted to kill me. Having no outer support except my husband’s support. brings up a fear., a doubt, a darkness. But this is what I pay for, I ask for it, I want to dig deep so I dear to be. 

Insight: rules is not giving any freedom

• Walking: 19.2 km (Total 211.1 km)
• Weather: nice

• Walking: 29.1 km (Total 191.9 km)
• Weather: nice

I slept at a place that didn’t serve dinner yesterday, that’s ok, because I am carrying with me Real TURMAT that only needs boiled water. I slept 10 hours and felt fresh, I ate the stupid breakfast the have here. Light bread with marmalade and a croissant. Christ, how can the work on that? The coffee was good. My drinking-system had a breakdown. I cocked water the day before and filled it up, but there was a hole in the system and it started to get really wet on my back. I started to walk 9 o’clock, so the wte clothes on my back felt cold and the wet spot «krept»crept» around to my front, so it looked like I had pissed on myself. I had to not care. I just kept walking. It could have been the feeling of a walk of shame, but I decided not to. Around 12 o’clock it had dried up and I ate some food, Sardines and a yogurt I had brought with me from a hotel two days ago. No shops – no water before 18 kilometers. That was hard. I rushed into a bakery and bought a Cola, water and bread.

A long Day, a good day, the body is working well.

Insight: No need to walk in shame

• Walking: 25.6 km (Total 162.8 km)
• Weather: nice

In Dover, where they held a Pilgrim Festival, I read something about: «What is a real pilgrim?» And the text said a pilgrim walks wherever he/she wants to walk as long as the road leads to the task the pilgrim is given. Well, I might say that I am a pilgrim for a day, because my way was on the highway and I could kill those cars. I came to the Via Francigena at last, when it was 7 km left and that was heaven.

I catch myself still hoping for the future, and steal me from the present. I know it so well. Sometimes it is nice to hide away, but I know when I do, I reject myself. As crazy as it sounds, When I focus on my walking there’s a bigger space around the whole life and in that space the future is without worries. It will happen they way it will happen, No need to manipulate it.

Because if life gonna be enjoyed, it has to be now. People often use that for to drink too much or whatever. But if we never face the now or what the now brings up of pleasant or unpleasant. It will always hit your back all the way. If you feel lost a moment, you should stay in it, instead of running away, that brings the past to its knees.

I try to be the walking. The value of walking around. Feel the walking. Listen to all the sounds not made of «the me».

The richest feeling – the one you can’t buy.

It is hard to not be the memories of the body. It is hard to be open to what is. The feeling that comes out of the memories. Am I that? My lust to have it easy – just kills the spirit in my soul.

The pilgrims walk expands behind the idea of «I». Without labels we walk around and some days is more confusing than others, but it is part of the journey. And I must say, its much easier this tour.

For me the way gives me space around the label of who I am.

Bit even through I walk alone. I look a bit lost, but definitely not more lost then a lot of other people.

Insight: Walk into the space and try to stay there for a while. See how long it lasts.

Walking: 19.9 km (Total 137.3 km)
Weather: good

Lucky for us the rain stopped, and we walked fast compared to what we usually do. Almost 20 kilometers in 5 hours.

We had washed the clothes and slept good. Even though the body starts to act differently, not used to walk this way, not for a long time. Then you start to feel different pains in the body, but when I start walking, I recognize that its only fear. We are so afraid to die, aren’t we?

Experience being and just to exist in the being give space and time to feel, listen and sense stuff. That is what I pay for. Time out from producing? Time out of every Day life. Build good routine on the road, so you can walk away the pain and dive into the divinity.

The value of just being? Where is it in me?

The Great betrayal robs people from from the treasure, the magic, the nothingness and the rich feeling it brings up. Wanting more, means less in love with what is – life!
Walking is for me – unpacking the real and that is to unpack it now!

Nothing else exists. I send a good thought to my sons and family and that feels alright. Sometimes I decide to think about one person for 5 minutes and to see where it brings me, and I like that sport. But I know that all the thoughts about tomorrow’s adventure and yesterday’s offences is not real. This journey and only now is relevant.

So why are we on hold? Why do I postpone feeling alive? Am I owing my own experience Now?

The right time is only now!

To feel alive.

Insight: Unpack the real, for goodness sake.

Restitution at Chateau de Cocove.

Walking: 12.5 km (Total 117.4 km)
Weather: good

Woke up in a bit private but cool place, Le Moulin d’Audenfort. A woman, age 35, with 2 children, her husband and her parents had bought this place from a person that didn’t managed it through the Covid. They had done, and has to do, a lot of work to keep it going. She said I was brave walking Via Francigena, but no, she is the brave one here. It takes something to build up å place. I recommend a stay at their place. Good for pilgrims (Should have been on the Via Francigena app).

Today was Sunday and a easypeasy day. We decided it this way, since its day 7 and the walking will go on for weeks, we know from experience that the body has to rest. Even it feels like you can go on forever. We came over a place with a church and a tavern, and since the church was closed it was an easy choice. We took a small beer along with the community people there (what a gift) and they wished us well to Paris and blabla.

The next stop was the lovely place of a cafe. We don’t speak french very well, but we are good in communicating body language, so we ended up with å good lunch and a glass of red wine.

Thinking and dealing with thinking is a good thing, as long as you know who’s in charge. You can find yourself in the middle of a thinking process and sense old feelings because of that. I have learned to stop it and talk it out and pulverize it to a no-brainer. You are responsible for the now, nothing else. If you wanna be å grown up, you don’t deal with old rubbish inside your head, you deal with the feeling it brings up. Feel it and let it go. You have to deal with what going on, nothing else. The mind is an excellent player and repeater for what has happened, it really doesn’t matter. How you deal with now – matters.

The mind is full of Ideas, plans and dreams, but they never answer your questions, they just kill your moment.

The mind wants to find freedom, money, happines, peace, and fame, but it burns out the flame.

It is a bad ass work to unpack the reality and stay in it.

And the ego is so offended. It was so badly to be in charge. But you know better.

Today I had a moment like that, worked it out, with turning in and moved on. That’s all we can do, because what the mind wants, is that we gonna stay in the same unsolved thinking stuff.

Stop it!

Such A Perfect Day!

Insight: Point me toward the real motherfuckers