I slept at a place that didn’t serve dinner yesterday, that’s ok, because I am carrying with me Real TURMAT that only needs boiled water. I slept 10 hours and felt fresh, I ate the stupid breakfast the have here. Light bread with marmalade and a croissant. Christ, how can the work on that? The coffee was good. My drinking-system had a breakdown. I cocked water the day before and filled it up, but there was a hole in the system and it started to get really wet on my back. I started to walk 9 o’clock, so the wte clothes on my back felt cold and the wet spot «krept»crept» around to my front, so it looked like I had pissed on myself. I had to not care. I just kept walking. It could have been the feeling of a walk of shame, but I decided not to. Around 12 o’clock it had dried up and I ate some food, Sardines and a yogurt I had brought with me from a hotel two days ago. No shops – no water before 18 kilometers. That was hard. I rushed into a bakery and bought a Cola, water and bread.
In Dover, where they held a Pilgrim Festival, I read something about: «What is a real pilgrim?» And the text said a pilgrim walks wherever he/she wants to walk as long as the road leads to the task the pilgrim is given. Well, I might say that I am a pilgrim for a day, because my way was on the highway and I could kill those cars. I came to the Via Francigena at last, when it was 7 km left and that was heaven.
I catch myself still hoping for the future, and steal me from the present. I know it so well. Sometimes it is nice to hide away, but I know when I do, I reject myself. As crazy as it sounds, When I focus on my walking there’s a bigger space around the whole life and in that space the future is without worries. It will happen they way it will happen, No need to manipulate it.
Because if life gonna be enjoyed, it has to be now. People often use that for to drink too much or whatever. But if we never face the now or what the now brings up of pleasant or unpleasant. It will always hit your back all the way. If you feel lost a moment, you should stay in it, instead of running away, that brings the past to its knees.
I try to be the walking. The value of walking around. Feel the walking. Listen to all the sounds not made of «the me».
The richest feeling – the one you can’t buy.
It is hard to not be the memories of the body. It is hard to be open to what is. The feeling that comes out of the memories. Am I that? My lust to have it easy – just kills the spirit in my soul.
The pilgrims walk expands behind the idea of «I». Without labels we walk around and some days is more confusing than others, but it is part of the journey. And I must say, its much easier this tour.
For me the way gives me space around the label of who I am.
Bit even through I walk alone. I look a bit lost, but definitely not more lost then a lot of other people.
Insight: Walk into the space and try to stay there for a while. See how long it lasts.
Lucky for us the rain stopped, and we walked fast compared to what we usually do. Almost 20 kilometers in 5 hours.
We had washed the clothes and slept good. Even though the body starts to act differently, not used to walk this way, not for a long time. Then you start to feel different pains in the body, but when I start walking, I recognize that its only fear. We are so afraid to die, aren’t we?
Experience being and just to exist in the being give space and time to feel, listen and sense stuff. That is what I pay for. Time out from producing? Time out of every Day life. Build good routine on the road, so you can walk away the pain and dive into the divinity.
The value of just being? Where is it in me?
The Great betrayal robs people from from the treasure, the magic, the nothingness and the rich feeling it brings up. Wanting more, means less in love with what is – life! Walking is for me – unpacking the real and that is to unpack it now!
Nothing else exists. I send a good thought to my sons and family and that feels alright. Sometimes I decide to think about one person for 5 minutes and to see where it brings me, and I like that sport. But I know that all the thoughts about tomorrow’s adventure and yesterday’s offences is not real. This journey and only now is relevant.
So why are we on hold? Why do I postpone feeling alive? Am I owing my own experience Now?
Woke up in a bit private but cool place, Le Moulin d’Audenfort. A woman, age 35, with 2 children, her husband and her parents had bought this place from a person that didn’t managed it through the Covid. They had done, and has to do, a lot of work to keep it going. She said I was brave walking Via Francigena, but no, she is the brave one here. It takes something to build up å place. I recommend a stay at their place. Good for pilgrims (Should have been on the Via Francigena app).
Today was Sunday and a easypeasy day. We decided it this way, since its day 7 and the walking will go on for weeks, we know from experience that the body has to rest. Even it feels like you can go on forever. We came over a place with a church and a tavern, and since the church was closed it was an easy choice. We took a small beer along with the community people there (what a gift) and they wished us well to Paris and blabla.
The next stop was the lovely place of a cafe. We don’t speak french very well, but we are good in communicating body language, so we ended up with å good lunch and a glass of red wine.
Thinking and dealing with thinking is a good thing, as long as you know who’s in charge. You can find yourself in the middle of a thinking process and sense old feelings because of that. I have learned to stop it and talk it out and pulverize it to a no-brainer. You are responsible for the now, nothing else. If you wanna be å grown up, you don’t deal with old rubbish inside your head, you deal with the feeling it brings up. Feel it and let it go. You have to deal with what going on, nothing else. The mind is an excellent player and repeater for what has happened, it really doesn’t matter. How you deal with now – matters.
The mind is full of Ideas, plans and dreams, but they never answer your questions, they just kill your moment.
The mind wants to find freedom, money, happines, peace, and fame, but it burns out the flame.
It is a bad ass work to unpack the reality and stay in it.
And the ego is so offended. It was so badly to be in charge. But you know better.
Today I had a moment like that, worked it out, with turning in and moved on. That’s all we can do, because what the mind wants, is that we gonna stay in the same unsolved thinking stuff.
Wet Wet Wet. A walk in heavy Rain. But strangely enough it was fun. We got good clothes and the temperature is 15 degrees in the daytime. All the nature here really deserves this weather,. The summer they have had has been dry.
I am good at focusing and my brain is my slave, so I did this kilometers with no quarrel with it.
The relationships you have with your thoughts or your habit to deag the situation down, because of some unsolved past, is really showing up in this situations. I registered that this fight has gone and that’s a victory for me. The brain also has its addictions, it has learned to repeat it self and it can be unlearned, but it takes some time.
A life without addictions, is that possible? A life free from inner pain is that possible? A life with peace inside is that possible?
The strange thing and a simple solution is that if you look at the moment and don’t try to changer or fix it, then you accept what is and the pain you tried to avoid, disappears. Its strange, but after 40 years working on this stuff, I really have to say, it works. It is the flame of my own search.
All the questions that we try to find answers to, in our minds, will never happen. If you answers it with your mind, it burns out the fire. The inquiry stops. It’s the level where you think you know where you are going and why you are here in this world – you get stuck. Then there is no more hunger, No more fire.
So, on a say like this, it really pays off the Work I have done. It is not possible for the old learned whining to go on. The body moves, the mind is still, the soul is enjoying.
Learned from earlier walking is that we need to rest soon. A day off, but we will take another slow walking tomorrow, and then……
Insight: Don’t let your thoughts fly around like monkeys in a tree.
Walking: 22.5 km (Total 81.7 km) Weather: cloudy, some rain
They promised us rain, but it was nothing. Just a few drops on our heads and for a person born in Bergen and a person from Malm its just feels like freshness. Especially since its over 15 degrees.
It is always a matter of letting the heart listen. When I am walking I am listening and listening. The monotonous walk is like meditation. So when the thinking is starting I make a choice if I have to think the thoughts that is bringing up. Stories from the past or new stories with some complications in them. It is so cool that I have this choice. so I can enjoy this ride.
My deep longing is for the real. So my work is to be free from my ego and be myself. The essence.
Like Ramakrishna said: I don’t want to be sugar, I want to taste sugar».
Be a clear and open channel, so I can be. Just be.
And this flame inside, that makes my soul smile endlessly is always burning when I walk. It is difficult to explain the feeling, the drive, the force, the strength in it, because it has some anthropomorphic conception of divinity in it. But this road takes me away from desire and aims and the Emptiness in it. The way gives me å richer and more royal feeling of being å human being.
Why am i in this world?
And what did an original do?
Make a plan to go some where?
Always looking for answers instead of leaving the questions alone?
The questions don’t need answers. They just need attention. They need respect. Noen of the suestions can be answered by the mind anyway, I just have to stay in them and be.
The most difficult and challenging thing in our society – is to be, without being somebody who has done something right or good or praiseworthy.
Those who say they have the answers, don’t really know, they know nothing, they too.. They think they do,¨ but that’s the problem, they force life, to make it happen instead of listening and let life happen. That’s the problem for all humanity, so they use drugs, alcohol, running, knowing the right people and so on, because they want to be important, instead of being important and busy with what life tells them to be or do.
You can’t fool life, you cant’t decide when you where born or going to die or others, or who you gonna meet. Universe takes care of those things. Nobody can tell you what to do or feel or be or Say.
You can have all the money you like, it doesn’t give you this. This journey is all about having guts to do it. The real wealth is when your soul is smiling endlessly. Take a look at what makes you smile. Real wealth is to be brave and conquer the fear and grow. Real wealth is to feel the divine and spirit in everything around you and not wanting more. Look for the lover in yourself. We all want to be openhearted. What’s holding us back is fear and the story (what they told you and what you later told yourself) Fear is your only God.
The lover inside you is celebrating existence and doesn’t use the time to test that others are wrong or stupid. The lover loves! Everything! All the true! It’s Perfect to feel this dizziness and not using time on what the mind like to think about this.
So this has been such a Perfect Day! Walking a lot on the beach (quit heavy), feeling the wind, the sun, listen to the birds and the waves. Who can ask for more?
Insight: Personal freedom is away from letting the mind decide.
I started tracking on my watch just to see how far it was from Dover to Calais with a little walking, then boat, then inside bus, and then walk again to the hotel. It was 60 km and it took the whole day. Only a few boats takes foot passengers, so we ended up at one at 14 o’clock, and met the most wonderful group there.
Before that we where inside the church in Dover, St Mary’s. It was the first Day of a pilgrim festival and we were very welcome. Lovely.
Life never goes as planned and thanx for that, but it helps to have a guide so things can happen. We can all learn from others experience, they can open parts in you, but you need to be quit alone to find your inner space. The way gives me possibility to see the knowledge, so it can unfold from inside, so I can respond from the real place, and not from something learned or outside pressure.
Today it has been the oceans code, my wave, your wave, same ocean. That feels good.