- Dagens distanse: 14.6 km
- Totalt: 59.7 km
Travelt på vandring så det blir bare noen bilder fra i dag. Se Bernt sin blogg om dagens etappe.
Tunsbergleden dag 4 – veien til det åpne hjertet. Røyken – Drammen
Tunsbergleden dag 3 – veien til det åpne hjertet. Sandvika – Røyken
- Dagens distanse: 27.4 km
- Totalt: 45.1 km
En perfekt 3-er, skulle minst tro at jeg hadde lært. 27 km og nesten bare skog og mark og uten sekk for min del.
Været ble vått, veldig vått. Fra det ene øyeblikket til det andre, gjennomvåt.
Men absolutt ikke kaldt og luktene i skogen blir så gode av sånt vær.
Jeg visste at det bare var å gå, når «alt mulig rart» rører seg, det er jo hodet det mest handler om. Hvordan det kan fortelle deg hvordan ting skal gjøres etc. Jeg kjenner lusa på gangen, det er bare å gjøre det som er bestemt, legge bak seg kilometer på kilometer og bli i bedre humør.
Fantastiske stier, utmerket merking av pilegrimsløypen, godt selskap og gode sko. De er faktisk nye. Sleit litt i går med skoene, men i dag var det gull-sko – Hooka selvsagt.
Vi måtte ta en avbrekk i Asker, det ble for vått, så vi tok en kaffe på Kaffebrenneriet. Jeg fikk en bolle med kaffe latte og det var perfekt. Trasket avgårde med våte klær, derifra (kirken i Asker var selvsagt stengt, bruker å være sånn i Norge), men vi fikk noen tørre timer i sluttfasen av turen og det hjalp – veldig! Tror det var bra for alt gresset rundt omkring at det kom en skur. Alle hagene ser gule ut her. Vannsparing de lux. Skal regne litt i morgen og. Bra for bøndene.
Gikk forbi Dikemark i dag. Skummelt sted. Nedlagt. Burde hett Sinnsykehus. Smak på ordet sinn syke hus. Veldig riktig når man ikke legger vrangviljen til. 850 mennekser bodde der til de la ned i 1996, for å fordele de i bygdene. H or ble de av? Hvem skal fylle Dikemark.? Kunstnere kunne fått det til å blomstre. Lunsjer der. Alarmen gikk av. Ble litt nervøs. Biler kjørte rundt og rundt. Ble nervøs av å være der.
Det ble noen drøydemeter på slutten. Jeg var sterk, men sliten. Visste at dag tre kunne bli slik. Egentlig super fornøyd med opplegget og hvordan det fortoner seg
I dag er det vårt bryllupsdag og vi har spist Real Turmat på hotellet og er kjempefornøyd med oss selv. Den følelsen er verd det meste. 🙂
Innsikt: en tur i skog og mark er bedre enn 10 turer på et kjøpesenter med 10 000 kroner hver gang
Tunsbergleden – veien til det åpne hjertet. Dag 1 og 2
- Dagens (og gårsdagens) distanse 17.7 km
Mitt opp i alt det travle rykker vi ut av vår hverdag og vandrer igjen. Mitt opp i alt det som «tar oss» og som gjør at vi glemmer at vi ikke lever evig, velger vi å sette en fot foran den andre igjen. Heseblesende, som vi liker det, men i slow motion, vandring i sin essens. Det gjelder ikke å komme først eller å være best eller vise seg som mest utholdende. Det som gjelder er å tre inn i det som er, bli en del av det og vite at det er godt nok. Kjenne på langsomheten. Å føle på å være underveis. Ta seg tid til å betrakte sitt eget fotavtrykk på jorden. Bare være et menneske uten en agenda, bare dekke de grunnleggende behov. Bevegelse, mat og søvn. Jeg kan vel med sikkerhet si at det virker, for å få kontakt med noe større inn i en selv, og så ut i fra et overskudd få tenke vakre tanker i stedet for at tankene stadig lugger i det lavere siktet, så det ikke blir noe av noe.
På veien har man tid til alt og man har alt man trenger i sekken. Bare det er verd prioriteringen: å gå. Kjenne på at man ikke trenger noe mere.
Når apene skravler, i det store treet jeg så ofte sitter under, har blåst seg opp, er det fint å vandre inn i seg selv og stillheten. Inn i parsellene i min store hage… Lytte til hva livet sier og ikke gå med på lureriene apene serverer.
Jeg ser på vandring som å tre inn i et klasserom, der jeg skal lære noe i andre enden. Jeg ser på livet mitt og sjelens rom som en eneste stor hage som trenger stell, vanning og omsorg.
Bernt og jeg dro fra Trondheim søndag med tog. Vi satt vandre modusen på da vi nådde Oslo S, så dro vi rett til Dag, som er døende. verdens beste og vakreste Dag, som har hjulpet oss i mangfoldige 10 år. Han og konen Liv, tok i mot oss og det var godt å få være sammen et døgn, selv om tilstanden er som den er. Liv og død går hånd i hånd. Det var fint å få Dag sin hånd i min egen og få takket han for alt han har vært og er i mitt liv.
Dag to rykket vi ut for å nå en båt som gikk til Lysaker og fra der har vi sloss litt med sekken, badet, spist soft is, spist lunsj, kommet frem til Sandvika. Gjort noen innkjøp, spist noe mat og er snart klar for masse søvn før vi skal vandre opp i mot 3 mil i morgen.
Godt å være på vandring igjen. Romavandringen gav selvrespekt. Parisvandringen plasserte egenverdet. – Larvik viser oss det åpne hjertet – det tror jeg på.
Innsikt: den fineste reisen er reisen inn i eget landskap
Day 26 – One Soul, One Shirt: Last day, Pierrefitte – Sacré-Cœur, Paris
- Walking: 16.1 km (Total 488.5 km)
- Weather: Rain
The final steps was strange, like something in me didn’t want it to end and something in me wanted to go home. You can’t walk like this forever. Nothing is forever. Like the rain, it was heavy, but the sky dried up.
Walking into a city I have always liked, but Paris was not one of them. So much poor people, I haven’t seen that for long time. People are mostly friendly, but you can see all their struggles in their faces and as a pilgrim I say hello to absolutely every one.
It’s like my soul is smiling and my body is working and what more can I ask for?
Bernt and I had chosen Sacré-Cœur on Montmartre as the final destination.
In this church there has been someone praying constantly for 135 years. I felt humble and grateful to walk in there and found a chair for a while to sit on.
After that I went to the coziest restaurant and asked for a glass of champagne and sent an SMS to one of my teachers in life and my family.
I walked very slow to the hotel. Knowing that I had fullfilled. Thanx again for the way.
«Do you believe in God?» a young boy (13) asked me last year. I answered: » I don’t believe in God, I know God exist».
It exist in every one, like Eva Dahlgreen’s song: «I am God, who are you?» God is a word used forever, but people mostly think of God as a cosmic bellboy they can pray to and get what they want, or be forgiven for their sins and so on, but the only one who can forgive, is yourself. God is living in everything that is alive. Its our power, our strength, our will, our love. So people have made a religion out of it, mostly based on people’s need to have something to get their comfort from, something to lean on and the church is scaring the shit out of people, with prayers and words and old stuff. Lot of it is good, but a lot of it is crap. Rules made by old men long time ago. The love they talk about is for those who believe. Believe in what? You should believe in the light inside you and dare to stand in your own light and shine. I know God exist in an universal way, that’s why Bernt calls me an animist,
Insight: I am God, who are you?
Day 25 – One Soul, One Shirt: Survilliers-Fosses – Pierrefitte
- Walking: 24.1 km (Total 472.4 km)
- Weather: Rain
Today it was raining cats and dogs and men and people from my hometown. Glad I brought with me my umbrella, if not, the mobile would have knelt. The Locus Map app,that I am using (the best there is) shows me the directions. If I had been without, I probably been lost. It’s flat the landscape, but its stupid to walk 2 degrees wrong directions for hours, then you end up somewhere else.
I went into a bar in the middle of nowhere and dried up a bit, said I wanted a big glass of red whine. It was the smallest big glass I ever have had, so I asked for another and walked fast after. In the end I walked into a MacDonald’s an said I wanted a big burger, and I got a cold, dry burger with å coke, think I used 5 second to swallow it and walked good again.
It became dark before I reached the destination .
Tomorrow is my last day walking and then I probably will right about this God-thing. Today I will share a new understanding I found on my way:
If you really, really, really want to be present and not react like an immature person in new situations, then you have to do the work and that means to meet what is showing up to you and not try to control life, behavior, avoid people and so on and start to dig deep and stay in the feelings showing up so they can be released.
The trauma (trauma = how we react to present circumstances based on past, unconscious programming that doesn’t arise to awareness and is hidden in the energetic body) research tells me that trauma does not arise as a memory. It arise as a reaction.
You can think and think and think a story over and over again and hope that it will go away one day or cling to it like a baby and feel sorry for yourself or blame others, but it’s just like monkeys in a tree, it will jump around you forever, unless you are willing to do the work.
If not you will keep on bleeding on thoose who never hurt you and live in a personal jail.
The triggers, are one part present circumstances and one part past trauma. This means that every trigger that happens to you is related to trauma. I had to finally dig with inquiry. Although I have been told: «dont look at the past». Really, its not what I have been doing (the thinking takes care of that stuff). There have been a few teachers in my life, supporting my digging, the physical pain and suffering has been enormous and I am so grateful that I never gave up. It was easy to turn away from this unconsciousness and simply be here now, but the ego still ruled a lot (wanting thing and the «needyness») and my reactions was running relationship to some degree and was related to my own trauma of growing up like a punk in Bergen. This «not wanted, not good enough stuff». So coming back to the essence has been the real journey.
Insight: Walk all the way, like Bob Dylan’s song: I shall be released.
And I am. Xxx
Day 24 – One Soul, One Shirt: Senlis – Survilliers-Fosses
- Walking: 15.8 km (Total 448.3 km)
- Weather: Nice.
Easy-peasy walk, but a lot more noise since I am getting close to Paris. The walk had been so much easier without all the evening stuff, but its part of the game, I guess. I don’t need a day in Paris at all. I got what I came for and I enjoy the being on the way.
I am so overwhelmed over that the body restitutes overnight and works. This way is so good for getting closer to the inner space and the essence.
Joy has not been a natural attribute of my presence in my life, so much has been closed down because of early traumas, but it looks like the joy is manifesting again. I am learning. I am growing. The sabotaging element of the ego does not work anymore. That is really something!
Insight: Surrender.
Day 23 – One Soul, One Shirt: Compiègne – Senlis
- Walking: 35.4 km (Total 432.6 km)
- Weather: Nice.
It became dark before I reached the hotel. A long day’s walk for me and exciting to manage. All the differences in the landscape, all the beauty, all the energy it gives to be open for the not knowing. Thanx to my husband for supporting me all the way.
Loving every second of it.
Insight: to stay in the not knowing
Day 22 – One Soul, One Shirt: Noyon – Compiègne
- Walking: 28.0 km (Total 397.2 km)
- Weather: Nice.
A little hard day’s walk. Had to focus and meditate on the walk. It went well. In the end, there is all this stuff going on. Finding food, thinking the next step. I have a long walk tomorrow. Luckily the weather is with me.
Insight: The only way to stop thinking is to be present. I hate to Say it, but there is no other way
Day 21 – One Soul, One Shirt: Ham – Noyon
- Walking: 25.8 km (Total 269.3 km)
- Weather: Nice.
Today it was slow walking. Sunday walk. I talked to family and friends on facetime and enjoyed the real nice weather given to me. In the middle of my walk there was this pub showing up. My plan was to have lunch 200 meters further down the road, but I just had to go in there and have a beer.. Just one, and then I went out and found a bench and had my own «Betty’s Hard Rock Cafe».
I have to work on not let the mind’s fantasies about people show up. Men alone with to dogs. Men with guns hunting, two girls walking behind me for a long time and so on. I try to just trust life and this is not the day I’m gonna die, but the fantasy is taking over, how am I going ta react, if I could kill, if I could be killed and how. It is just å lot of thoughts jumping around in my brain, like monkeys in a three.
But it stops fast since I decide to trust life more than the thoughts.
Yeah, and I have to tell you, it was so cool that the chef and his wife of the restaurant Chez Jean from yesterday, stopped their car and said hello, they where on their way to same city. They wanted me to jump into the car, but no, there is the limit, I am walking to Paris, not hiking 🙂
Insight: Trust whats happening instead of the thinking
Day 20 – One Soul, One Shirt: Saint-Quentin – Ham
- Walking: 24.7 km (Total 343.5 km)
- Weather: Nice.
Today I walked like a machine. Fast. Started at 07:30 before the town had woken up. So nice. I walked along the river for 13 km and then took off.
Do you want to say something to the world or don’t you. Well, all the choices we make. Shall I walk right or left. Fast or slow. Who’s asking?
By the way, best hotel I ever have stayed on. Best service. Best room, best breakfast. Thanx a lot.
Insight: listening to the inner voice is easier when you walk the way.
Eg e' på vandring 