Easy-peasy walk, but a lot more noise since I am getting close to Paris. The walk had been so much easier without all the evening stuff, but its part of the game, I guess. I don’t need a day in Paris at all. I got what I came for and I enjoy the being on the way.
I am so overwhelmed over that the body restitutes overnight and works. This way is so good for getting closer to the inner space and the essence.
Joy has not been a natural attribute of my presence in my life, so much has been closed down because of early traumas, but it looks like the joy is manifesting again. I am learning. I am growing. The sabotaging element of the ego does not work anymore. That is really something!
It became dark before I reached the hotel. A long day’s walk for me and exciting to manage. All the differences in the landscape, all the beauty, all the energy it gives to be open for the not knowing. Thanx to my husband for supporting me all the way.
A little hard day’s walk. Had to focus and meditate on the walk. It went well. In the end, there is all this stuff going on. Finding food, thinking the next step. I have a long walk tomorrow. Luckily the weather is with me.
Insight: The only way to stop thinking is to be present. I hate to Say it, but there is no other way
Today it was slow walking. Sunday walk. I talked to family and friends on facetime and enjoyed the real nice weather given to me. In the middle of my walk there was this pub showing up. My plan was to have lunch 200 meters further down the road, but I just had to go in there and have a beer.. Just one, and then I went out and found a bench and had my own «Betty’s Hard Rock Cafe».
I have to work on not let the mind’s fantasies about people show up. Men alone with to dogs. Men with guns hunting, two girls walking behind me for a long time and so on. I try to just trust life and this is not the day I’m gonna die, but the fantasy is taking over, how am I going ta react, if I could kill, if I could be killed and how. It is just å lot of thoughts jumping around in my brain, like monkeys in a three.
But it stops fast since I decide to trust life more than the thoughts.
Yeah, and I have to tell you, it was so cool that the chef and his wife of the restaurant Chez Jean from yesterday, stopped their car and said hello, they where on their way to same city. They wanted me to jump into the car, but no, there is the limit, I am walking to Paris, not hiking 🙂
Insight: Trust whats happening instead of the thinking
Here lies 1534 German soldiers that was killed during First World War. One of many graveyards I passed on my way
I started to walk 07:30 today, towards the rising sun. I love the morning. And I have to say, it’s spectacular to walk into this open landscape. Everything is so beautiful wide open. It opens up the soul and you don’t have a change to be in other things than just be. It really gives concentration on the essential and it gives energy. Even through, I know I have walked for 8 days and I know the body needs a break. So I walked into Saint-Quentin, found the hotel and started doing the laundry of my walking clothes by hand.
Tomorrow I will go swimming in a swimming facility they have here, and buy food for the next walking days. So glad I brought with me my sowing stuff, so I have something to do in the evenings.
The walking gives this natural silence and I try not to dictate what I am experiencing and that brings up curiosity about the true essence of pure consciousness. It is like being in the middle of what is.
Silence is taking away struggle.
Silence is the source of sound. It’s the partner of sound. There is no sound without silence. There is no silence without sound. The silence brings space for new spirit and it gives hope for more to come.
Everyday the way surprise me, how I deal with what is showing up. I try to stay open and patience when I have nothing (like dinner or water served) and I look at my attitude when I have everything, like tonight.
Insight: Du the things you are afraid of doing – you might set free.
Today I walked the slowest I could, so in order not to end up too early at the B&B in the middle of nowhere. I was well prepared they didn’t serve dinner here, but I hoped for water-boiler for the Real Turmat instant meal. They had that. I’ve been into a few places without dinner, no water as well and no water boiler, so it has been banana for dinner and some left overs from lunch. I have dealt quit good with it. Part of the game. One more day walking and I will take a break and get my walking clothes washed.
I could have walked much faster and longer today, but its all about staying somewhere over the night, and that does not necessary be the ideal distance for me.
I am impressed that it s possible to be better and better fir. Thanx for that. I am still glad for doing the walk alone. It is so good time out of regular life.
This is my journey to Paris. I met my goal if it means that I don’t have to reject the now. So walking in the future, means to keep focus at the moment. Be fit, sleep, eat, drink enough water, packing, learning, kiss the fear good bye, Reading, writings, sowing, reading maps etc.
The present is part of the journey and there is nothing before me that I want to get or grasp, just this feeling alive and being stuff. I love it.
No goal for getting things different is often considered boring or lazy or half dead, but it is really the richest feeling.
Everybody loves that I am going to Paris and they keep asking me, what are you going to do in Paris? I answer: I will go home. The walk is the priority.
The luxury is the one step at the time and being happy that I have the guts to do it and a body that is willing to do the job. It is not to fill a hole in my soul, it’s just about taking responsible for my life. That I live it. Just being.
There might be a deep longing in my, always, for not being seen for who I truly became, but, again, it’s just bullshit in the end, if I ended up respecting the one I am.
My gift to this world is being who I am, that’s my fulfillment. And I Say that to you: If you have any pains, psychological or in your knees or whatever: Start walking the Camino.
Insight: Meaning in life is not a result of any project or given to you like a present. Meaning is nothing your mind can find. Meaning is just falling into you, when you walk very long.
Weather: Cold and foggy in the morning. Nice afternoon.
The walking is going good!
If you think of your personality and the ego as an Island, and all the other people with their personality and ego as islands as well, then we are a whole bunch of islands looking after our own Islands. Wanting the best for our Island, wanting to know the other right Islands, always asking: what’s in it for my island. Building it bigger, more fortune, more of this, more of that and protecting us from Islands we don’t like and so on. That’s how it becomes war in this world, less love, more watching for the best. How stupid is this?
Might be better if we think of ourselves as universal and leave the personalities digging for more behind.
For example: me and my family is my husband and our 3 grown up kids. I also have 2 stepsons, that never have been invited to my childhood town. Well, I could choose to be offended over this, because that’s what personality does. Gets hurt. But instead I choose to think that there is not enough awakening and understanding, for that they belong to us. Its easier that way, then I don’t have to make a fool of anyone, and then I don’t have to feel anger. Of course, I could talk with the other islands about it, but that would be blaming and that takes time and energy. I rather leave the case, because I know its the ego: wanting something out from a ego perspective. It never works, it will never be OK. Wanting to have my stepsons invitied to my hometown is nothing more that my Island seeing for love and acceptance and wanting to be seen. Its just the Islands rule to keep feeling not tolerance and accepted. Nothing more that that. Its got nothing to do with universal love.
The islands are build up from when we where kids. Rules, expectations, grasping, neediness, feeling hurt because of getting little for free. Believing your own story as the only truth, but its all seen from the ego.
Isn’t it strange?
It is so cool to understand this, because then we can stop believing in this Island bullshit. That doesn’t mean you have to accept other islands’ bad behavior, but you can watch it and sit still in your boat. Don’t rock it, unless they are really bad to you. If you leave another Islands behavior, it’s good and wise, it’s wisdom, it’s not bad, like you been told. But you can be nice to them, if they ask you why, then you can answer:
Because you are operating from the island perspective. They will probably look at you like mad (welcome to my life) but that is OK, as long as you have your own value and integrity.
Eg e' på vandring 