• Walking: 18.0 km (Total 318.8 km)
• Weather: Nice.

I started to walk 07:30 today, towards the rising sun. I love the morning. And I have to say, it’s spectacular to walk into this open landscape. Everything is so beautiful wide open. It opens up the soul and you don’t have a change to be in other things than just be. It really gives concentration on the essential and it gives energy. Even through, I know I have walked for 8 days and I know the body needs a break. So I walked into Saint-Quentin, found the hotel and started doing the laundry of my walking clothes by hand. 

Tomorrow I will go swimming in a swimming facility they have here, and buy food for the next walking days. So glad I brought with me my sowing stuff, so I have something to do in the evenings.

The walking gives this natural silence and I try not to dictate what I am experiencing and that brings up curiosity about the true essence of pure consciousness. It is like being in the middle of what is. 

Silence is taking away struggle. 

Silence is the source of sound. It’s the partner of sound. There is no sound without silence. There is no silence without sound. The silence brings space for new spirit and it gives hope for more to come. 

Everyday the way surprise me, how I deal with what is showing up. I try to stay open and patience when I have nothing (like dinner or water served) and I look at my attitude when I have everything, like tonight. 

Insight: Du the things you are afraid of doing – you might set free. 

• Walking: 18.5 km (Total 300.8 km)
• Weather: Nice.

Today I walked the slowest I could, so in order not to end up too early at the B&B in the middle of nowhere. I was well prepared they didn’t serve dinner here, but I hoped for water-boiler for the Real Turmat instant meal. They had that. I’ve been into a few places without dinner, no water as well and no water boiler, so it has been banana for dinner and some left overs from lunch. I have dealt quit good with it. Part of the game. One more day walking and I will take a break and get my walking clothes washed.

I could have walked much faster and longer today, but its all about staying somewhere over the night, and that does not necessary be the ideal distance for me.

I am impressed that it s possible to be better and better fir. Thanx for that. I am still glad for doing the walk alone. It is so good time out of regular life.

This is my journey to Paris. I met my goal if it means that I don’t have to reject the now. So walking in the future, means to keep focus at the moment. Be fit, sleep, eat, drink enough water, packing, learning, kiss the fear good bye, Reading, writings, sowing, reading maps etc.

The present is part of the journey and there is nothing before me that I want to get or grasp, just this feeling alive and being stuff. I love it.

No goal for getting things different is often considered boring or lazy or half dead, but it is really the richest feeling.

Everybody loves that I am going to Paris and they keep asking me, what are you going to do in Paris? I answer: I will go home. The walk is the priority.

The luxury is the one step at the time and being happy that I have the guts to do it and a body that is willing to do the job. It is not to fill a hole in my soul, it’s just about taking responsible for my life. That I live it.
Just being.

There might be a deep longing in my, always, for not being seen for who I truly became, but, again, it’s just bullshit in the end, if I ended up respecting the one I am.

My gift to this world is being who I am, that’s my fulfillment. And I Say that to you: If you have any pains, psychological or in your knees or whatever: Start walking the Camino.

Insight: Meaning in life is not a result of any project or given to you like a present. Meaning is nothing your mind can find. Meaning is just falling into you, when you walk very long.

• Walking: 24.4 km (Total 282.3 km)
• Weather: Cold and foggy in the morning. Nice afternoon.

The walking is going good!

If you think of your personality and the ego as an Island, and all the other people with their personality and ego as islands as well, then we are a whole bunch of islands looking after our own Islands. Wanting the best for our Island, wanting to know the other right Islands, always asking: what’s in it for my island. Building it bigger, more fortune, more of this, more of that and protecting us from Islands we don’t like and so on. That’s how it becomes war in this world, less love, more watching for the best. How stupid is this?

Might be better if we think of ourselves as universal and leave the personalities digging for more behind.

For example: me and my family is my husband and our 3 grown up kids. I also have 2 stepsons, that never have been invited to my childhood town. Well, I could choose to be offended over this, because that’s what personality does. Gets hurt. But instead I choose to think that there is not enough awakening and understanding, for that they belong to us. Its easier that way, then I don’t have to make a fool of anyone, and then I don’t have to feel anger. Of course, I could talk with the other islands about it, but that would be blaming and that takes time and energy. I rather leave the case, because I know its the ego: wanting something out from a ego perspective. It never works, it will never be OK. Wanting to have my stepsons invitied to my hometown is nothing more that my Island seeing for love and acceptance and wanting to be seen. Its just the Islands rule to keep feeling not tolerance and accepted. Nothing more that that. Its got nothing to do with universal love. 

The islands are build up from when we where kids. Rules, expectations, grasping, neediness, feeling hurt because of getting little for free. Believing your own story as the only truth, but its all seen from the ego.

Isn’t it strange?

It is so cool to understand this, because then we can stop believing in this Island bullshit. That doesn’t mean you have to accept other islands’ bad behavior, but you can watch it and sit still in your boat. Don’t rock it, unless they are really bad to you. If you leave another Islands behavior, it’s good and wise, it’s wisdom, it’s not bad, like you been told. But you can be nice to them, if they ask you why, then you can answer:

Because you are operating from the island perspective. They will probably look at you like mad (welcome to my life) but that is OK, as long as you have your own value and integrity.

Insight: You don’t need bullshit!

• Walking: 25.5 km (Total 257.8 km)
• Weather: nice

• Walking: 21.3 km (Total 232,3 km)
• Weather: rain (and nice at the end of the day)

It is expected and accepted in the society to have a project or a job that gives excitement, importance and meaning «you are somebody». Walking around saying you have a bigger mission is just weird for people. But do I care? Not a second. 

And today a bartender put my pocket full of biscuits and said: «You are truly living your life». 

Well, it feels like. I love the walk, it really gives a meaning. 

We are trained to think «what has a meaning?». And all this meanings and Ideas and rules are blocking people for doing things like this. Also fear. People look to much on television and they are served fear. So fear is their God. 

I will later write about this God stuff, but I will save it for a rainy day. Well today it rained a lot the first 15 kilometers, and then the sun shined like it never had before. It doesn’t matter, I have clothes for all kinds of weather. And it’s not cold. 

It is good to walk, It’s like becoming the walk, every step is making me more glad. But I have to be careful that it is not another activity that has tons of expectations, that need likes. The walk gives me more insight of who I am without outer support. 

I have to heal all that hurts me, if not, I will bleed on those who never hurt me. And when I do, I come to a new understanding and the energy is free, then I walk faster. The body is really impressing me. No knee pain at all. 

I sleep long nights and starts early. That is works out really good. There is of course a fear in being alone walking. Like today two big oxen 2 meters away from me, there was a fence between us, but my heart was pumping when they looked like they wanted to kill me. Having no outer support except my husband’s support. brings up a fear., a doubt, a darkness. But this is what I pay for, I ask for it, I want to dig deep so I dear to be. 

Insight: rules is not giving any freedom

• Walking: 19.2 km (Total 211.1 km)
• Weather: nice

• Walking: 29.1 km (Total 191.9 km)
• Weather: nice

I slept at a place that didn’t serve dinner yesterday, that’s ok, because I am carrying with me Real TURMAT that only needs boiled water. I slept 10 hours and felt fresh, I ate the stupid breakfast the have here. Light bread with marmalade and a croissant. Christ, how can the work on that? The coffee was good. My drinking-system had a breakdown. I cocked water the day before and filled it up, but there was a hole in the system and it started to get really wet on my back. I started to walk 9 o’clock, so the wte clothes on my back felt cold and the wet spot «krept»crept» around to my front, so it looked like I had pissed on myself. I had to not care. I just kept walking. It could have been the feeling of a walk of shame, but I decided not to. Around 12 o’clock it had dried up and I ate some food, Sardines and a yogurt I had brought with me from a hotel two days ago. No shops – no water before 18 kilometers. That was hard. I rushed into a bakery and bought a Cola, water and bread.

A long Day, a good day, the body is working well.

Insight: No need to walk in shame

• Walking: 25.6 km (Total 162.8 km)
• Weather: nice

In Dover, where they held a Pilgrim Festival, I read something about: «What is a real pilgrim?» And the text said a pilgrim walks wherever he/she wants to walk as long as the road leads to the task the pilgrim is given. Well, I might say that I am a pilgrim for a day, because my way was on the highway and I could kill those cars. I came to the Via Francigena at last, when it was 7 km left and that was heaven.

I catch myself still hoping for the future, and steal me from the present. I know it so well. Sometimes it is nice to hide away, but I know when I do, I reject myself. As crazy as it sounds, When I focus on my walking there’s a bigger space around the whole life and in that space the future is without worries. It will happen they way it will happen, No need to manipulate it.

Because if life gonna be enjoyed, it has to be now. People often use that for to drink too much or whatever. But if we never face the now or what the now brings up of pleasant or unpleasant. It will always hit your back all the way. If you feel lost a moment, you should stay in it, instead of running away, that brings the past to its knees.

I try to be the walking. The value of walking around. Feel the walking. Listen to all the sounds not made of «the me».

The richest feeling – the one you can’t buy.

It is hard to not be the memories of the body. It is hard to be open to what is. The feeling that comes out of the memories. Am I that? My lust to have it easy – just kills the spirit in my soul.

The pilgrims walk expands behind the idea of «I». Without labels we walk around and some days is more confusing than others, but it is part of the journey. And I must say, its much easier this tour.

For me the way gives me space around the label of who I am.

Bit even through I walk alone. I look a bit lost, but definitely not more lost then a lot of other people.

Insight: Walk into the space and try to stay there for a while. See how long it lasts.